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19 August 2009 @ 06:11 pm
The Dreamers' Ball [Harry Potter]  
Title: The Dreamers' Ball
Fandom: Harry Potter
Summary: Sirius is jealous of Remus/Tonks. Past Remus/Sirius, present Remus/Tonks.
Characters: Sirius, Remus, and Tonks.
Rating/Warnings: PG; Angst
Word Count: 300

The Dreamers' Ball

In his dreams, in the cozy places where he went when he closed his eyes, nothing had changed. There'd been no suspicions, no imprisonment, no Wormtail. He was still drowning in the soft staccato sounds of Remus, all pristine enunciation and careful consideration, as Remus read to him. This was something intimate and sublime. Remus could have read him anything at all, but most usually it was the newspaper that served their purposes. Remus was careful to mix the darker news stories with light-hearted commentary from the Style section. Sirius had not appreciated doom-and-gloom much in those heady days. He might not even have believed in it. They had all been invincible. Unthinkable horrors did not happen to them.

Remus, of course, knew better, having already experienced the unthinkable in this life. Sirius had not paid well enough attention.

He was paying attention now. He wished he couldn't. He wanted badly to stay asleep, and he tried his best to help that along. He would not steal Dreamless Sleep: he was only alive for his dreams. He fought the desire to never leave bed, fought it with every last wish.

He fought it until the day he walked in on them. Tonks had her annoyingly pink head in Remus's lap. That soft staccato pitched up and down for her ear. His pristine enunciation read to her of a festival on the Thames this week.

Sirius Black tried to hold himself together long enough to stride through the room, grab the firewhiskey from the kitchen, and retreat back up the stairs. Once again alone in the very same cell in which he had been born to his lie of misery, he drank himself back to sleep. He used to believe that unthinkable horrors did not happen to them. Now, they were all that he knew.
Current Location: St. Paul, MN
Sage Killersagekillerfancy on August 20th, 2009 03:29 am (UTC)
Oh that was angsty all right! Beautiful story, Sirius's pain is really well brought out. This would have been a great addition to the books, we never really get to see Sirius' struggle with the memories.
werewolfsfanwerewolfsfan on August 22nd, 2009 08:29 pm (UTC)
You've broken my heart!